He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
