You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
