Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
