so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
