last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Randomize
