if i can run in heels then i can drive
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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