38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
