Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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