I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
