They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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