When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
