I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
