now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
