You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it's like iHOP with fire
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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