my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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