Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
