just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
