Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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