And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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