Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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