Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
