You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
