based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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