It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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