think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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