i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
