the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
