Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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