Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
