Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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