Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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