I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
