Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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