When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
