i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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