Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
