The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
