I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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