you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
