She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
