Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
