Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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