well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
