Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
