We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
