Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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