After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
