I just made out with a guy for $7.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
