I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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