I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
