The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
