Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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