she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
