I heard we made out
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I can tuck mytits in my pants
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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